


On and In Love

by weelilghost



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-30
Updated: 2017-07-30
Packaged: 2018-12-09 00:52:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11658198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/weelilghost/pseuds/weelilghost
Summary: On what it's like to be in love - a little snapshot from each couple, and from Peter.





	On and In Love

_ On and In Love _

 

**Lily Evans and James Potter**

Love is a silly thing, isn’t it?

Lily Evans remembers the evening, sometime in 1st year, when she sat alone in the common room late at night, feeling homesick, only to discover another student who was up feeling homesick, too. Both brave Gryffindors had waited – waited until it was very, very late and all their friends were sleeping – to creep away and be a little sad, a little scared, a little un-lion-like.

They ended up talking, didn’t they? – one about older parents who spoiled him rotten, who filled his life with magic – one about a muggle world, with two lovely muggle parents and a confusing muggle sister. They pinky swore they’d keep this between themselves, this tiny moment of weakness. The next day, James Potter would sit with his friends, Lily with hers, and that’d be the end of it.

But they were both a little less homesick, weren’t they? And Lily never really forgot.

James Potter remembers a morning, early in 3rd year, when he crept to the kitchens because he couldn’t sleep, and on the way he passed an empty classroom with a little more red hair than empty classrooms typically possess. He peered in and watched as this rule following, goody two-shoes practiced transfiguring parchment into slime, while grinning mischievously – and he thought of his sopping bag earlier filled with sludge and he was filled with a jumble of feelings:

of wonder, and of laughter, and of what might be love.

When Lily left the classroom that morning she found a plate outside with a blueberry muffin, butter on top, and a mug of coffee just the way she liked. And she was filled with a jumble of feelings:

of wonder, of confusion, a little knowing voice that whispered just _who_ might have done this, and what might be love.

 

**Remus Lupin and Sirius Black**

Both boys grew up feeling monstrous.

Sirius Black lived in a home in which he would never, ever be good enough. He made friends with people who believed who he _was_ made him better than who his parents _wished_ he could be. He had never been loved for himself before. His friends loved _him_ , though, didn’t they? And they showed him that they loved him everyday. He loved them back – fiercely and possessively – and he spent his whole life trying to be the kind of man worthy of their love.

Remus Lupin, at 5 years old, had something happen to him which was completely out of his control. And though he was exceptionally kind and intelligent, many people would never be able to look past his condition. Remus would always feel, somewhere deep down, that those people were right. But The Marauders loved him unconditionally, didn’t they? And they went out of their way to show him that. He loved them all more than he would ever love himself.

Remus and Sirius were friends long before they were ever in love.

They shared each other’s secrets and knew each other’s faults. Both, separately, on feeling the beginnings of something more than friendship, tried to stamp it away. Both believed the other deserved so much more.

Sirius thought Remus was the most selfless man that had ever lived. He made it his mission to show Remus just how wonderful he truly was. In the process, he ended up falling in love with him. He fell for the bookish boy who was a merciless prankster. He fell in love with the man, werewolf and all.

Remus believed Sirius was one of the most truly good men that he had ever met. Sirius had all of life lined up in front of him, and he could have so easily slipped into prestige, success, and power. But he had walked away from it all for what was right. Remus wondered if he would have chosen the harder path for the better one. He admired Sirius, and somewhere down the line, that admiration turned into love. He fell for Sirius’ devil-may-care attitude that barely hid depths of emotion. He fell in love with the dog-star, the most loyal of friends.

They became friends in a rather desperate way, clinging onto each other - each boy shocked to find himself worthy of love, in spite of everything.

They fell in love desperately, too, desperately trying to fight it off. Each man feeling too unworthy to ask for even more – after all the love they’d been given.

These wonderful, beautiful men. Neither angels, but never monsters. Never.

Each would hate himself a little for giving in, wishing he wasn’t holding the other back. But then Sirius would brush the hair off of Remus’ face and look into his eyes. But then Remus would take Sirius’ hand, and rub his thumb along battered knuckles. And maybe it would be alright after all.

 

**Peter Pettigrew**

Peter Pettigrew never fell _in_ love before. And there’s a difference, isn’t there? You can love someone, love them a lot, without being _in_ love.

Being in love means you have to be a little ridiculous. Everyone who falls in love looks a bit silly from the outside, and Peter always figured he was always too close to being uncool as it was, to risk his reputation on being in love.

Peter knew himself to be a man who lived on the edges. He was on the edge of popularity and obscurity, leaning into the Marauders to keep himself from falling out. He was on the edge of bravery and practicality, willing to go for the glory, sometimes, but also choosing sometimes to _look_ rather than _leap_.

He was on the edge of being a good man.

He loved his friends, he truly did, but he loved himself the most.

Being in love is scary, and you have to let go of a part of yourself.

Peter never did. 

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed it! I'm thinking about continuing and writing similarly styled chapters on different emotions: "on sadness," "on anger," etc. If you'd be interested, please let me know!


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